Script Scene 4 INT. JAMIE'S HOUSE DAY

Cut to Jamie. Thirty-eight, good-looking and good-natured. Preparing to go out but running late. His girlfriend Katya, who is curled up sick in bed, watches on. He speaks with a slight, touching and mid-sentence stutter.

Jamie: God, I am so late

Katya: It's just round the corner, you'll make it.

Jamie: You're sure you d-d-don't mind me going without you?

Katya: No, really - I'm just feeling rotten.

Jamie: I love you.

He kisses her

Katya: I know.

Jamie: I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.

He kisses her again.

Katya: I know. Now go, or you will actually miss it."

Jamie: Right.

He walks out to leave and Katya falls back on the pillows.  Jamie sticks his head round the door again.

Jamie: Did I mention that I love you?

Katya: Yes you did. Get out loser.

Jamie leaves

Script Scene 14 INT. CHURCH.  DAY

Script Scene 15 INT. JAMIE'S HOUSE. DAY

Jamie speeds through the door into his living room. At that moment another slightly younger man enters the room from the kitchen.

Jamie: Hello.  What the hell are you doing here?

Chris: Oh, I just popped over to borrow some CDs.

Jamie: The lady of the house let you in, did she?

Chris: Yeah.

Jamie: Lovely o-o-obliging girl. Just thought I'd pop back before the reception, see if she was better.  Listen, I've been thinking.  I think perhaps we ought to take Mum out for her birthday on Friday, what do you think? I just feel we've been bad sons this year.

Chris: Okay, sounds fine - a bit, you know, boring, but fine.

Katya(voice only): Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home.

Jamie looks at Chris......Chris looks at Jamie. Not a great brotherly moment.

Script Scene 36 EXT./INT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE. DAY

Cut to total darkness.  Then windows start to open - on the living room of Jamie's chaotic but lovely French farmhouse. Jamie, with his suitcases deposited in the middle of the room, is opening the windows, some of which have little angel silhouettes cut in the wood.

Back inside, Jamie stands in front of a little desk.  He sits down in front of an old-fashioned typewriter.

Jamie: Alone Again. Naturally.

Script Scene 42 INT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE. DAY.

Script Scene 43 EXT./INT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE - FRONT DOOR. DAY.

Cut to Jamie typing in France on an old-fashioned typewriter.  The  doorbell rings.  he leaves the desk. 

Jamie opens the door to a confident, middle-aged French woman, Eléonore.  She is clearly in charge of the house in some way, with a nice thick accent.

Jamie: Bonjour, Eléonore

Eléonore: Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back. And this year, you bring a lady guest?

Jamie: Ah, no - change of situation.  It's just me.

Eléonore: Ah.  Am I sad, or not sad?

Jamie: I think you're not surprised.

Eléonore: And you stay here till Christmas?

Jamie: Yes.

Eléonore: Good.  Well, I find you a perfect lady to clean the house.  This is Aurelia.

The shot widens to reveal, standing back, nervously, Aurelia - a pleasant enough looking dark-haired woman - about twenty-eight, wearing a very ordinary cheap dress under a red overcoat.  Jamie moves to greet her.

Jamie: Bonjour, Aurelia

Aurelia: (very quietly) Bonjour.

Jamie: (very bad accent) Je suis t-t très heureux de vous avoir ici.

She looks puzzled.

Eléonore: Unfortunately, she cannot speak French. Just like you. She is Portuguese.

Jamie: Ah. Ahm...Ahm - bon giorno. Ahm - Eusebio...molto bueno.

He mimes a little bit of football.

Eléonore: I think she is ten years too young to remember there was a footballer called Eusebio - and 'molto bueno' is Spanish.

Jamie: Right, right.  Anyway, it's nice to meet you.

He moves backwards towards the house

Eléonore: And perhaps you can drive her home at the end of her work.

Jamie: Absolutely. Con grande plesora.

Eléonore: Which is what? Turkish?

Script Scene 44 INT./EXT. JAMIE'S CAR IN FRANCE. DAY.

Aurelia and Jamie in the car. Total silence.....Jamie is getting embarrassed. He looks at the gorgeous valley they are driving through.

Jamie: Bello....bella.

She looks puzzled.

Montagno.......arbore.

She just looks slightly perplexed

No, right. Silence is golden. As the Tremeloes said. Clever guys. Though I think the original version was by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. G-g-great band. 'Ooooo-ooo-ooo' - oh shut up.

He goes back to driving.

Script Scene 56 INT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE. DAY.

Jamie is eating breakfast. Aurelia enters - takes his coffee cup off the pile of papers.

Jamie: Would you last the last, er......

He offers her a croissant.  She smiles (from now on when speech is in Portuguese, it's in italics)

Aurelia: Muito obrigado, mas não-se você visse minha irmã,você compreenderia o porque.  Thank you very much - but no - if you saw my sister, you'd understand why.

Jamie: That's all right - more for me.

Aurelia: Apenas não vá comendo isto sozinha.Vocêficará mais gordinha a cada dia que passa. Just don't go eating it yourself - you're getting chubbier very day.

Jamie: I'm lucky - I've got one of those constitutions where I never put on weight.

She looks at him and smiles. There's a friendship developing. The phone rings.  He picks up the telephone, thinking that it was ringing.

Jamie: Hello?

It's actually his mobile, which is still ringing. Laughing - they search for it, eventually finding it between the pages of a manuscript. Jamie finally answers.

Hello?

Script Scene 57 EXT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE - GARDEN. DAY.

Jamie is typing outside in a jumper, putting the finished papers under his coffee cup - it's a lovely big ramshackle garden, with a lake. Aurelia comes with a fresh cup of coffee and takes the old cup off the pile of papers, as she has done before.

Jamie: Thank you.

But this time, because it's outside, moving the cup suddenly lets all the papers fly. Aurelia leaps to grab them - and so does Jamie....But the pages are flying away - and heading in the direction of the lake at the end of the garden.

Aurelia: Oh meu Deus, Oh meu Deus. Eu sinto muito..Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

Jamie: (worried) Oh no.....Oh God, it's half the book.

She runs trying to catch some of them - but a huge heap have headed into the water...

Jamie: (calling out) Just leave them, please, they're not important. They're not worth it. Stop, stop!

Jamie starts to head after her. She gets to the water's edge and hesitates for a moment, then whips off her dress to reveal just pants and a bra. Time slows down. Jamie watches. It's an unexpectedly lovely body under her funny old clothes.

It's all rubbish - please, just leave it.

But she dives in.

Oh God, she's in.......

He heads towards the water pulling his jumper off.

.....and now she'll think I'm a total spaz if I don't go in too....

Aurelia: Droga,está frio! Fuck, it's cold!

Jamie jumps in clumsily.

Jamie: Fuck, it's freezing. Fuck!

They swim around after the floating papers.

Aurelia: Esta coisa poderia ser melhor. This stuff better be good.

Jamie: It's not worth it, you know, it isn't bloody Shakespeare.

Aurelia:  Eu não quero acabar salvando qualquer bosta(merda) que minha avó possa ter escrito. I don't want to drown saving some shit my grandmother could have written.

Jamie: Just stop! Stop!

Aurelia: Que espécie de idiota não faz cópias? What kind of an idiot doesn't do copies?

Jamie: I really must do copies. You know, there better not be eels in here - I can't stand eels....

Aurelia: Tente não perturbar as enguias. Try not to disturb the eels.

Jamie: Oh God - what the hell is that?

As he thinks he feels an eel.

Script Scene 58 INT. FARMHOUSE - LIVING ROOM. DAY.

Cut to a few minutes later. Jamie comes in from the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Aurelia is in a chair near his table with a rug over her shoulders.

Jamie: Thank you. Thank you so much. I know, I'll name one of the characters after you.

Aurelia: Pode ser que você possa dar nome a um dos personagens depois de mim. Ou me dar 50 por cento dos lucros. Maybe you could name one of the characters after me. Or give me 50 per cent of the profits.

Jamie: Or I could give you five percent of the profits.

Aurelia: Que tipo de livro é este? Tipo,tipo... What kind of book is it? Kind, kind........

She points to pages and mimes tears, laughter, then a heart.

Jamie: Ah, yes.

He gets what she's saying - mimes a knife stabbing-murder.

Aurelia: Ah, suspense...,crime... Ah-thriller...crime...

Jamie: Yes. Si. Crime. Murder.

Aurelia: Assustador?  Frightening?

She mimes a scared face.

Jamie: Scary? Yes. sometimes scary-sometimes not....Mainly scary how bad the writing is.

A slightly awkward pause, she starts to get up.

Aurelia: É melhor eu voltar a trabalhar.E mais tarde, você me daria uma carona para casa? I better get back to work. And then later you'll drive me home?

She mimes driving...He nods 'yes.' They look at each other.

Jamie: It's my favourite time of day, driving you.

Aurelia: É a parte mais triste do meu dia, deixar você. It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

Script Scene 59 INT./EXT. JAMIE'S CAR AND FRENCH SCENERY. DAY.

They drive along. She looks at him, he looks at her - her hair still wet. She catches him looking at her. They both look away.

Script Scene 66 EXT. FARMHOUSE IN FRANCE. DAY.

Cut to Jamie is putting his cases and lots of Frenchy presents - wine and cheese and strings of garlic, etc., in the car. Aurelia comes out of the house with more of his bags.

Jamie: Apologia. Grande Familio. Grande tradizione di Christmas presents stupido.

Script Scene 67 EXT. MARSEILLES STREET. DAY.

Cut to Jamie dropping Aurelia off at the edge of town. A cold, urban environment. He gets out with her and puts forward his hand to shake it. She takes it and shakes it. Then...

Jamie: Well-goodbye.

Aurelia:  Obrigada.Eu sentirei falta de você e de sua datilografia lenta e de seu jeito muito ruim de dirigir. Thank you. I will miss you and your very slow typing.....and your very bad driving....

He smiles at her - none the wise. So she simply leans in and kisses him gently on the mouth and walks away. He stops and thinks and then sets off again, a little dazed and confused.

He gets into his car and pulls out without looking, colliding with the car behind him.

Script Scene 93 INT. LANGUAGE SCHOOL. NIGHT.

Cut to huge neon-lit room. It's full of people at formica desks listening to tapes, with big earphones. We pan across people learning English, from every corner of the world.

Language Student 1: Sherlock Holmes is not a real detective.

Language Student 2: (in Russian) Is this the way to the train station?

Language Student 3: I would like half a pound of cherries.

Language Student 4: I would like a one-day travel card.

And one of the students is Jamie, practising out loud-but it's not English he's learning. It's Portuguese.

Jamie: (in Portuguese) Oh meu Deus, eu tive uma terrível dor de estômago.Deve ter sido das lagostas. Oh my God, I've got a terrible stomach ache. It must have been the prawns.

Language Student 5: Milton Keynes has many roundabouts.

Script Scene 94 INT./EXT. UNDERGR0UND STATION. DAY.

An underground station escalator. A group of people are coming past the camera-one of them is Jamie. He gets closer and we see he is wearing earphones, and apparently talking to himself-trying to act convincingly, even if not sounding very, Portuguese.

Jamie: Minha nossa, isto é um peixe enorme! Está delicioso! My goodness, this is a very big fish! It tastes delicious.

He's also carrying some Christmas present bags-this is clearly someone who takes Christmas seriously.

Script Scene 110 EXT. JAMIE'S PARENTS' HOUSE. NIGHT

Jamie walks to the door, carrying bags full of presents-he rings the doorbell.

   Script Scene 111 INT. JAMIE'S PARENTS' HOUSE. NIGHT

The door opens

Jamie's sister: Look everyone - it's Uncle Jamie.

Instantly a vast number of family members of all ages greet him. Huge excitement.

Jamie: Yes-splendid-lovely to see you all. And.......I'm off actually.

Jamie's Mum: But, Jamie, darling.........

Jamie: Sorry-a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

He hands his sister the bags full of presents and leaves.

Child 1: I hate uncle Jamie.

Child 2: I hate uncle Jamie.

Child 3: I HATE uncle Jamie!

Script Scene 112 EXT. STREET. NIGHT

Very busy Christmas street. Jamie is hailing a cab.

Jamie: Gatwick Airport, please. Fast as you can.

Script Scene 129 EXT. MARSEILLES AIRPORT - ARRIVALS GATE. NIGHT.

A sign says Aeroport Marseilles. Jamie exits below it. He sees a taxi-but at the same moment an oldish woman walks towards it. His English politeness gets the better of him, and he lets her take the cab. Then jumps up and down in frustration at what he's done. But instantly, another cab turns up-he leaps in.

Script Scene 137 EXT. MARSEILLES. NIGHT

Jamie arrives in a cab in a very thin, hilly and poor city street in Marseilles. He gets out of the cab, heads down and knocks on a door.

A man answers-about sixty-big belly-just wearing a vest. Jamie speaks in not quite fluent Portuguese.

Jamie: Boa noite, Sr.Barros. Estou aqui para pedir a mão de sua filha em casamento.  Boa noite-Mr. Barros-I am here to ask your daughter for her hands in marriage.

Mr Barros: Você quer se casar com a minha filha? You want to marry my daughter?

Jamie: Sim. Yes.

Mr. Barros calls back into the house.

Mr. Barros: Venha cá, há um homem na porta. Come here-there is a man at the door.

Through the plastic curtain into the nest room comes a very big Portuguese girl. There's no love lost between father and dauhter.

Mr. Barros: Ele quer se casar com você. He wants to marry you.

Sophia: Mas eu não o conheço! But I've never met him before.

Mr Barros: E daí? Who cares?

Sophis: Você está me vendendo para um estranho? You're going to sell me to a complete stranger?

Mr. Barros: Vendendo? Quem disse vendendo? Eu pagarei à ele. Sell? Who said 'sell'? I'll pay him.

Jamie: Me desculpe. Eu queria dizer sua outra filha, Aurelia. Pardon me. I'm meaning your other daughter-Aurelia.

Mr. Barros: Ela não está aqui, está trabalhando. Eu levarei você. Você fica aqui. She's not here. She's at work. I'll take you. You-stay here.

Sophia: Como quizer. Estúpido. As if I would. Stupid.

The four of them, including a curious, old lady neighbour, head off down the steps-instantly passing a small restaurant where a few people are having supper outside.

Sophia: Pai, é sobre vender Aurelia como escrava para este inglês. Father is about to sell Aurelia as a slave to this Englishman.

The people get up from their table and follow. They don't want to miss this.

Script Scene 139 EXT. MARSEILLES. NIGHT

Jamie and father and sister are moving through the streets followed by an ever increasing crowd.

Sophia: É melhor você não dizer "SIM", pai. You better not say 'yes' father.

Mr. Barros: Cale a boca, Miss Dunkin Donut 2003. Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003.

Script Scene 142 EXT. MARSEILLES. NIGHT.

Now forty people are coming down a thinner set of steps-they reach the bottom, and turn sharp left, to head towards the restaurant.

Child 1: Parece que ele vai matar Aurelia. Apparently he is going to kill Aurelia.

Child 2: Legal! Cool!

Script Scene 145 EXT. MARSEILLES. NIGHT.

We see a tide of sixty people sweeping down an alley-they've been collecting at Sophia's instigation.

Suddenly they have arrived at a humble Portuguese restaurant. Jamie hesitates before entering-but then heads on in.

Script Scene 146 INT. MARSEILLES RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

There is a proprietor with a huge black moustache behind the bar.

Mr. Barros: Aonde está Aurelia? Where is Aurelia?

Proprietor: Por quê eu a chamaria? Why should I tell you?

Mr. Barros: Este homem quer se casar com ela. This man wants to marry her.

Proprietor: Ele não pode fazer isto, ela é nossa melhor garçonete. He can't do that-she's our best waitress.

And at that moment Aurelia appears upstairs holding plates of food-she turns and sees Jamie standing there. She freezes. And then very gently puts the food down. She's probably wearing make-up for the first time in the film.

Jamie: Boa noite, Aurelia.

Aurelia: Boa noite, Jamie.

Jamie: Bela Aurelia - eu vim aqui a fim de lhe pedir...para se casar comigo.  Beautiful Aurelia - I've come here with a view to asking you.......to marriage me.

Cut to her

Eu sei que pareço uma pessoa louca, pois não a conheço muito bem,   I know I seems an insane person-because I hardly knows you

mas às vezes as coisas são muitobut transparentes,elas não precisam de evidências. but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof.

Eu morarei aqui ou vocêpode morar comigo, na Inglaterra.  And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England.

Sophia: Definitivamente, vá para a Inglaterra, garota.Você conhecerá o principe William,então você pode se casar com ele. Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William-then you can marry him instead.

Mr. Barros: Ssssh.

Jamie: Claro, eu não espero que você seja tão tola quanto eu, e é claro que eu acho que você dirá "NÂO", mas é Natal, e eu só queria...tentar.  Of course I don't expecting you to be as foolish as me, and of course I prediction you say 'no'-but it's Christmas and I just wanted to....check.

Pause as she thinks.

Sophia: Oh, Deus, diga SIM, sua retardada magricela. Oh God, say 'yes,' you skinny moron.

Cut back to Aurelia and back to Jamie. Then-because she too has learnt the language of the person she loves, in very broken English,

Aurelia: Thank you-that will be nice. 'Yes' is being my answer....Easy question.

Mr. Barros: O que você disse? What did you say?

Aurelia: Sim, é claro. Yes, of course.

Everyone cheers and applauds. She heads down the tiny sweeping staircase. The band starts to play.

Jamie: You learned English.

Aurelia: Just in cases.

Aurelia and Jamie move together and kiss. They are interrupted by a tap on his shoulder-Aurelia's sister plants a huge kiss on his mouth. A second later her father does exactly the same.

Script Scene 147 INT. HEATHROW AIRPORT - ARRIVALS GATE.  DAY

Next out are Jamie and the radiant Aurelia. Peter and Juliet are there to greet him.

Jamie: Well, here she is  - this is Aurelia. This is Juliet, Peter.......

Oh, Mark, hi - I didn't see you there.

For indeed he is there, hanging behind.

Mark: Yeah, just thought I'd tag along.

Aurelia: Jamie's friends are so good looking.  He never tells me this. I think maybe now I make the wrong choice - pick the wrong Englishman.

Jamie: She can't speak English properly. She doesn't know what she's saying.

A big thank you to Maria Teresa Brasil de Souza for all of the Portuguese translations.