[Knock on door]

Bridget: "Who could be calling now?"

[Goes and opens door]

Bridget: "Oh."

Mark: "The door was open."

           "I came to congratulate...the new face of British current affairs. (pause) But I see I may have come

           at a bad time."

[scene change from doorway to kitchen]

Bridget: "How's it look?"

Mark: "Great.  It's, um...blue."

Bridget: [Gasps] "Blue?"

Mark: "No, but blue is good. If you ask me, there isn't enough blue food."

Bridget: "Oh, shit.  It must've been the string."

Mark: "Oh, it's string soup?"

Bridget: "[laughs] Oh, God. They're going to be here any minute."

Mark: "Well, don't worry.  I'm sure they've come to see you....and not orange parfait in sugar cages.

           Have a drink."

Bridget: "Yes."

Mark: "Happy Birthday."

Bridget: "Thank You." [laughs]

Mark: [sighs]

Bridget: "Did I really run round your lawn naked?"

Mark: "Oh, yes.  You were four and I was eight."

Bridget: "Well, that's a pretty big age difference.   It's quite pervy really."

Mark: "Yes, I like to think so."

[pauses, looks]

Bridget: "What are we going to do about this dinner, then?"

Mark: "We can have blue soup to start, orange pudding to end, and....well, for main course, we have...

           uh, congealed green gunge."

Bridget: "That is caper berry gravy."

Mark: "Oh, yes."

Bridget: "See?"

Mark: "Yeah.  Do you have eggs?"

Bridget: "Yes."

Mark: "Right.  Omelet it is then."

Bridget: "Ah."

Mark: "With caper berry gravy."

[a short time passes]

Mark: "You wouldn't by any chance have any beet root cubes, would you?  A mini-gherkin, stuffed olive?"

Bridget: "No, Pam, and besides, I'm busy.  The gravy needs sieving."

Mark: "Surely not, just stir it, Una."

[Doorbell buzzes]

Shazzer: "Happy, happy birthday!  Hey, TV queen."

                 "Hey, Bridge, you looked fantastic."

[friends chattering as they walk up stairs]

Tom: "Hello."

Mark: "Hello."

Tom: "Are you joining us?"

Bridget: "Yeah. Yeah, of course."

[walks over to Mark, laughs]

[at dinner table]

Mark: "Excellent."

ALL: "Mmm, yeah."

Tom: "Delicious. Really, special."

Mark: "It's really---really very good."

Shazzer: "Really, it's very nice."

[Laughter]

Shazzer: "Say. Mmm. Mark, why did your wife leave you?"

(left out of movie but in the script Mark answers: "She was Japanese. Exceptionally cruel race." - this would explain some of the reaction shots)

Bridget: "Mmm, eat up.  Eat up.  Two more lovely courses to go."

Tom: "Mmm, delicious."

[Laughter]

Mark: "I have to say, this really is the most incredible shit."

[Laughter]

Mark: "This is the worst of the three."

Shazzer: "It does actually remind me of something.  It tastes like....."

Jude: "Marmalade."

Tom: "Well done, Bridge.  Four hours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup...omelet, and

          marmalade."

Bridget: "Thank you."

Tom: "I think that deserves a toast, don't you?  To Bridget....who cannot cook, but who we love...just

          as she is."

ALL: "To Bridget.....just as she is."

[here comes those looks....(sighing]

(NOTE: part of "the LOOK" flows over to the next scene.)