Expectations

6 September

We finally had time to have time together. Yes, we'd had Thursday night but most of that consisted of minor petting with a back rub thrown in; and a lot of small talk. He was tired after a days shoot, catching a plane and showing up here around seven; which was midnight in London. Yesterday we'd had screenings to attend and elbows to rub ours against, the meeting with dinner to charm more prospective clients. Today hadn't seen things let up. It was, by far, our most aggressive undertaking to woo, along with being wooed; which was astonishing to me. We all had minnie conferences and seminars to attend; together and separately. I'd gone to a fashionably late screen-writers luncheon while Colin attended a similar event for producers.

We both got back to our suite, well it was mine as his lay unused, at almost the exact same moment. Probably one of those wave-length connections; or just pure coincidence. We went in and both headed to dismantle our wardrobes. As usual, he didn't really have much to dismantle to relax. Where I was in a nice pants suit, he was in his usual jeans, shirt, jacket and....you can guess the footwear.

He wasn't saying anything but, neither was I really. Three days hadn't passed and I was growing weary of the Festival routine already. Problem was, I got the impression something was amiss and he wasn't in the mood to disclose it. It got ever more prominent in my thinking when he decided he was going to shower... at three in the afternoon....after he'd taken one less than six hours ago. We'd no plans that I was aware of and if he had made some form of arrangement he had best tell me right quick or I was going to nix them. We were supposed to have tonight, just us.

That's when it all went to shit and I felt like I was in a First Grade Primer about Dick and Jane and Gip.

So I asked, "everything okay?"

And he asked, "does it seem not?"

And I said, "you're awfully quiet."

And he said, "sorry."

And I asked, "how'd it go today?"

And he said, "hmm?"

And I said, "the luncheon...go okay?"

And he questioned, "yes...yours?"

And then I asked, "what's going on?"

And he queried, "what ever do you mean?" I followed him to the bath and watched in silence as he started the shower and stepped in without another word, leaving me there holding his jeans; which I promptly dropped on the floor, turned and left as steam filled the bathroom.

I knew, without a doubt, something was going. I just had no clue what. So all I could do was sit and wait and see what surprise he had in store for me. Then again, maybe I didn't want to know why he was taking a shower in the middle of the afternoon so close to his other. That, after being amongst producers, male and female, just before. No. What was I conjuring? This was Colin. He'd never but, it did cross my synapses. It could be as plain and simple as they had driven him to distraction and he needed to let go the stress of the day by showering. Maybe he'd run afoul of another slippery mud bog and could only get so much muck off himself before returning. Whatever the reason I had to not dwell. I re-focused on us and the possibility he wanted to be squeaky clean for me, for us, for later. Though, if sex didn't fall into the equation tonight I could live with that. It wasn't a total expectation of every night we were together. That had gone ages ago. It was the just 'being' that counted almost as much these days. We weren't, as we were so glaringly reminded at Revell, twenty any more.

So I grabbed pen in hand and notebook at the ready, sat in a chair, jotted down a few ideas for my "next great novel" and....waited... and waited.

I tried to not look at my watch as twenty minutes went by, then thirty, then nearing an hour before he came back out..... newly shaved and fully dressed in a fresh set of clothes. The same, but nicer. Now my interest was piqued.... ya think?

So I asked, "are you going to tell me or should I guess?"

And he replied with a question, "about what?"

So I asked, "do I need to change what I've on?"

And he said, "not unless you care to."

And I was getting tired of the one liners, stood up, walked over to him and got right in his face.

"You're wearing Homme? Oh Christ Colin, that stuff stinks."

He didn't respond and it just made me more suspicious.
"Are you going to tell me or leave me here guessing?"

"I was about to."

"When? When you could have talked to me all this time? I mean you just showered. You didn't have to get all dressed again. I'm not."
"I'm taking dinner out."

"Are you?"

"Yes.... with Kevin. Saw him today. Last minute thing."

"Kevin? Kevin who? There are a bazillions Kevins in the world."

"You've met."

"Have we?"

"Yes, airport.... Los Angeles."

"Bacon? That Kevin?"

"Who did you suspect I meant?"

"Tonight? As in now? What about our "our time?"

"We've tomorrow."

"Do we? When tomorrow?"

"I...."

"Don't I me!!!"

"We'll make due."

"Colin, tomorrow is Sunday, am I wrong? Rhetorical. Ten, breakfast meeting with press. Noon, luncheon. Two, photo call. Four, individual interviews. Back here for five seconds to breathe, change and be on the carpet by six. Screening at seven. This has us out of the theatre, possibly by nine. Then what? Party at nine-thirty. This, I believe, could last into the wee hours. So.... you tell me. When?"

I was deflated and defeated and I knew he was going to go no matter what I said, but I had to finish.

"We'll be exhausted and fall into bed.... to sleep, just that and you leave Monday."

"No."

"No, what do you mean no? No to what?"

"I can stay a bit longer."

"Can you?"

"Yes.. the film has shut down."

"Bad acting?"

"Uncalled for. No, if you must, money issues. Backers went a bit belly up."

"How belly up is that?"

"We're delayed. Likely two months."

"So see Kevin Monday then."

"He's leaving."

"Great."

I got up and headed for the bedroom, not wanting to hear any other excuses, reasoning, or lame apologies for how he'd ruined what I envisioned the night was going to be. I closed the door, though I didn't slam, and waited there, just on the other side, until I heard the front door close and knew he had gone on, without me.