Validated

10 September

Jack, Hilly, Maggie, Marilyn, Jess, Ronan and Lizette were all gone home now. I was left here to fend for myself. Rather, Colin and I were. Our suites had to be turned back and we couldn't renew because late comers to the festivities had them locked in. So Colin and I found a nice little Inn, Casa Mendoza Restaurant & Inn, not far from all of the activities, yet it was far enough away that we felt we had some privacy, without scrutiny. I knew the owner, Teresa, from having eaten at the restaurant here, before. It didn't go she knew about us, but I'd secured two rooms with the explanation of Colin and I having to stay longer for more meetings. She had them available so we took what we could get. It was five miles from the Eaton Centre, just west of Toronto proper and on Lake Ontario. His room had a balcony so I planted my luggage in there and the other room stayed idle. It was only for one night. We both were leaving tomorrow. I imagined we wouldn't be going anywhere, anyway, except, perhaps, the restaurant.

There wasn't just a whole lot to do. It was just a day for us to be together and, basically, do nothing; or whatever might hit us. It could be something or it could be nothing. We'd checked out of the suites at eleven, gotten here around one after stopping for lunch. We'd immediately made reservations for dinner at seven-thirty. There weren't any other openings available earlier. It was an Inn, but the restaurant was famous and it was hard to get a table even if you were staying here. Teresa had squeezed us in. I didn't want to eat so late it kept me up all night. The British Bambino would see to that, I was sure. My flight tomorrow wasn't until three, so I could sleep in. Colin's wasn't until five-thirty. He wouldn't get home until the next morning. Without delays, around four-thirty. I had a stopover in Cincinnati, still, I'd be home before he barely got into international airspace. Hardly seemed fair but it had been the opposite more times than I cared to count.

We got back before nine and made quick work of our dinner duds. As usual, he'd worn jeans with a jacket over a pullover. At least it wasn't a tee shirt and it wasn't brown. I'd opted for jeans too, though mine were brand spanking new... and black. I'd added a nice pullover and my black knee length suit jacket - which was really two sizes too big and too long in the sleeves and I had sworn I'd give it to Adele, but it worked. I hardly had it on because it ended up being too hot, even for me. It was okay, we weren't going to The Ivy, we were just going downstairs and across the parking area.

I'd thrown on some scant pj's and made my way to the balcony. It was warm, though not hot. Slight clouds were wending their way across the ever darkening sky obscuring the half moon and most of the potentially visible stars. Naturally, lights from the city weren't helping any in that area, either. But, I could look straight across the lake and see the CN Tower and wondered about folks that were likely dining up there in the rotating 360 Restaurant. I didn't dwell. I placed my chair so I could stretch out my legs across the railing top, sat back, closed my eyes and waited on Colin.

It was nearly two in the morning in London now but, he was returning a call he'd missed earlier. How earlier? Not much. When we were at dinner. That was still after midnight GMT. For some reason he'd had the need to show me the number on his mobile. He'd said it was a member of Progreso's board. How would I know and, to be honest, it wasn't any of my business anyway. I did know who it wasn't and I conveyed that it was okay for him to call whomever he chose to whenever the occasion arose. His life couldn't stop because of me.... or us. It was that simple. It was still odd the call had come so late though. Yet, I truly wasn't dwelling on it. I was too busy relaxing.

"Did you want a drink?," came quietly along the breeze from behind me. Without flinching I replied, eyes still closed, "Any of that iced tea left?"

"You positive that's all you care for?"

"Yes, thanks."

My hands stayed, intertwined, against my abdomen and I didn't move any other part of myself until I felt a cold glass against my knuckles.

"I suspect you want to know what's going on."

"Not necessary, Colin. You know this."

I waited, in case he had the need to explain, as he pulled a chair over next to me and settled in. For a silent few moments we just sat there, side by side, sipping cool drinks and enjoying being together. It didn't last.

"Boiler."

"Pardon?"

"Need a new boiler."

"Your house blew up?"

"Oh, no, not... Progreso. Water heater went out. Expensive to repair even more to replace."

"They called you at this hour to tell you this?"

"It needs doing quickly, if not sooner. Can't operate without it."

"Where?"

"Portobello."

"And, so, did you offer to pay for it?"

"Me, God no."

"So.. they called you...why?"

"Approval for the work."

"They couldn't decide or what?"

He put his feet down and gave me an odd look.

"They needed three of us to give it the green light. I was the third available."

"Were you? Available, I mean?"

His face changed again as he almost looked past me.

"I assume more than the other two they couldn't get hold of."

"Hmm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Colin. It was a hmm. Like, okay I got you."

"I wasn't that long."

"I'm telling you it was all okay and I understand the situation and there is no issue and the world is fine. Now stop."
This was when I noticed his face. Maybe he'd allowed a bit of light to filter out from the room onto the balcony. Maybe I wasn't really seeing his face so much as feeling something wasn't kosher.

"Out with it."

He took a quick side glance and readjusted himself in his chair.

"With what?"

"With whatever it is."

"Do I appear something's an issue?"

'You don't appear anything. But, you're thinking about something."

"Do you always know?"

"I don't think so."

"You seem to."

"It was a guess."

"No."

"And so?"

"Why now?"

"Sorry?"

"Why now? Why are you just now reversing course? Why didn't you say something before this?"

"When?"

"I don't know, perhaps a few years back before it all got so far out of hand. For that matter, you could have said anytime in the past few months."

"There was too much going on. Me, Millie, us."

"You mean Alex and Jo?"

"Yes."

"I see."

"No you don't"

"Don't I? I think you're mistaken. Regardless, when did it all get out of hand, in your opinion?"

"I don't know."

"Let me put it another way then. When did you find it wasn't where you wanted to be going with your life? That you wanted to just write, as you put it."

It seemed a fair enough question to venture on to. I also didn't hesitate to respond. I knew when, didn't I?

"I think that would have been before Bristol."

"That long ago?"

"Yes. I was at Camden Market and people allowed I was valid in my own right."

"No wonder you've been a bit of a pill to live with."

"We don't live together, Colin."

I was sorry I said that almost before I'd finished the sentence, but it was already too late. I'd pissed him off. We went quiet and I knew I'd have to wait for him to break the silence.

"You're not so bad an author as you think."

"I'm not very famous on that front and you know it. I'm famous, in whatever capacity, because of you."

"That shouldn't stop you from continuing what you love. I got what you said the other evening. I may have been a bit slow in absorbing it but I understand it."

"Hmm."

"I suppose I was enthused because others do know who you are. They validated you in the industry and it excited me. I won't put you out there again. I imagine we've enough legitimate investments now for the company to stand shoulder to shoulder with some of the larger firms."

"Oh, I don't know about that just yet. We've only three projects going."

"It is, Jo, see it for that. We've been accepted. We're players now, or Eastbourne is."

"Yes, and you and I can go do what we love and Jess and Graham can handle things."

He eyed me seriously.

"Not all of it. We have to be able to make time for us once in awhile."

"I think I can work you into my new schedule."

"You have a schedule when you write?"

"Not really."

"That's what I thought. So I don't have to worry. You'll be at my beck and call."

"You're skating on thin ice again."

"Plausibly I enjoy the challenge."

I sat back and let it all sink in and settle to the recesses of my brain. In short order I looked back at him.

"This wasn't the best way to spend your birthday, was it? Sorry."

"What do you mean?'

"I mean, you should have been elsewhere, celebrating or something; instead of hiding out in a hotel."

"I'm where I chose to be. You're well aware I can be wherever I bloody well please.'

"Yes."

"I do have times I need to be away from people... and things."

"I know."

"I don't get those opportunities very often and when I do I go wherever I so choose."

He waited for me to say something back but, I didn't know what. He was preaching to the choir and he was in a heightened state I didn't want to exacerbate further.

"What I'm... the point is... I had a good day. I spent it with you. We went to dinner and now...... "

He stopped short, took in a deep breath, and let out an almost imperceptible sigh. It was almost as if he was struggling with uncertainty.

"And now, Colin?"

"I'd like to make love to you."

I couldn't recall, in the short span of time I now seemed to have, if he'd ever said that to me; in that way. It really didn't matter if he had or no. The way he said it almost melted me.

"Jo, it's my birthday. I did exactly what I wanted and now I want you. That will make my day perfect."

Almost with a shyness he rarely exhibited he stole a quick glance my way, stood up and went to the railing. I got up, walked over and took his hand in mine. He clasped them together and led me inside.