Introduction

Whether it was an actual occurrence or not - the past lives had played on Diane's mind for years. Now HE knew she had those thoughts and feelings about the relationship. All she could do was hope he didn't think her too much the fool for doing so. Nevertheless, it was an inescapable mind-set she couldn't relinquish effortlessly as it was ingrained and felt right and natural.  Just another one of those perplexing things about herself she had never told anyone else before and dared not again.  One person knowing was regretful enough.

******

I'd been here before.  Every time I'd left and returned home. It always appeared I had made everything up - that it wasn't real - couldn't possibly have occurred, though I knew all too well it had. Time and distance had never played with my head as much as it was now. I had to start taking steps - almost immediately - to help with the distancing.  It was the uncomplicated part. Not saying any of it would be easy. It was the lesser of two evils - so to speak. Starting with the established and unwavering fact that he was over 4500 miles away, but there was more to it than mere miles, wasn't there? Some of the steps I had started before were now top priorities.  I had to and did turn over the fan club and the website. It was complicated - well the explaining was. When I did I made sure I didn't have any access to the site for adding or maintaining.  It would only make things worse.  Besides, I had to wash clean of it. Totally and completely. The next step was to change my cell phone number.  I only gave it to a select few folks. No way I could change my home phone, but I dare say he'd call that number ever again. Not that I in any way believed he would ever call me again - let alone on that phone - I had to do the first...for me. This, of course, left ICM off the phone list too.  That was fine.  I had no pressing need to associate with them in the near (or distant) future as far as I could see. The hardest to do and the last to be done was the email.  OUR email. It would just have to stop.  I wrote one last time to let him know I would be doing what I was.

C.

Time and distance is what we said. Time and distance is what will begin as of now. Wrote to tell you I will be deleting this email account after I send this to you, so please do not attempt a reply.

Distance will be somewhat easy. Time? Time will tell. Soon enough you will -  or you may already - be made aware of steps I have taken that I needed to take, for me.

Perhaps one day we will be able to meet again.  Sometime, somewhere as sociable, but indifferent friends. Looking ahead - at this point - I can't envision it.

I will never forget what you gave me and did for me over the past four years. Forgive if I totally disrupted your life in that time. It was never intended.  That it happened as it did, I pray you remember fondly.

Always,

D.

I had finished my second book 'Eastbourne.' I'd worked on it close to a year. It was published right before we got back and already I had been hit by screenwriters wanting to adapt it.  It wasn't a best seller, but it was a good story. I wondered if it wasn't coming on Once and Again's coat-tails.  Though two of those wanting the job of it were names I knew and it was promising. I also knew the production companies they were tied in with and had announced they would like to do it. So this was keeping my mind occupied, along with a pick-up in my website business.  All, I am sure, having to do with my recent notoriety. I was working on a third book and now I was about to head to New York to sign the final papers to make Eastbourne a movie. That was kind of exciting.  It also afforded me some time to go home and visit mom for a week.  Thom couldn't go so my son offered to go with me and drive me around the city. Hated driving there. I would be in 'the big apple' two different days, go to the shore with Jason, take in a ball game and spend time with mom. Maybe things would get easier as time went on. Right now...life was good.