Noticeable Indifference

22 August

I left him standing there with one of my shoes in his hand. It had actually been hilarious. I mean he just stood there with total confusion on his face. I hadn't intended for it to be funny by any stretch of the imagination. It had just turned out that way. The other half of this, of course, was that I had gotten into my car soaked to the gills, head to toe and shoeless. I wasn't going to do anything about it now. I leaned over to the glove and pulled out a map hoping against hope I wouldn't get lost. I waited until I was clear of Pevensey Bay and pulled over. I found my laptop so I could try and figure out where the hell I was actually going. Not that I didn't know where the shoot was taking place today, I just hadn't planned to be there. Okay, A259 ran into A27 which actually was still A259, ugh. I needed to take that East to near Hastings then catch A21 north. Piece of cake, or so I anticipated it would be. Thankfully it was. I wasn't taking a lot of back country roads. These were main thoro-fares. I found a small convenience store to stop in and change my clothing. It was of no consequence what I wore to the set, I'd be in something Victorian soon enough. I grabbed what was necessary, changed and continued on my foray into the "I pray to God I don't get lost" venture. I could get off the A21 and take the A265 towards Etchingham or stay on A21 to B2099 which seemed more direct. From what I could decipher Pashley Manor was right on the B2099, or so the web site had said. It also said there were tourist signs. I was taking what I figured was a longer route, but the other that had come up on maporama.uk was the back way. I'd no real desire to go missing. So I was going fifty kilometers (31 miles) instead of just over thirty-five (22 miles) and it was going to take me about forty-five minutes instead of around a half hour. I was in no hurry. Sure they wanted me there by ten, it was just past eight-thirty.

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be around him. I was falling back into a bad situation. It was, wasn't it? I had decidedly closed myself off from him emotionally. I was already having a hard enough time balancing those emotions. Look at what I had been through after our little episode back home. I took off part and parcel to an island and got him out of my conscious mind. I knew full well I wouldn't remove the memories, good and bad. There in lay the biggest problem. There was no way to wipe it all out. I had made a valiant effort and until I got plastered I'd done an admirable job. Though that wasn't, in actuality, a very long time. Perhaps there never would be enough time to escape it. So I was putting up a false front. I wanted to be mad at him for what he had done, but I wanted to be with him. To that end I was making a conscious effort to keep him off guard as to where I really was. In a way I felt guilty. I'm not talking about knocking him in the nethers either. I hadn't felt guilty about that. Still didn't. I did have qualms about not giving him an opportunity to let me in on what he had to say about the whole unpleasant episode. It was reasonable to assume he didn't have to explain himself given my willingness all this time, but I held a firm belief I wanted one and he wanted to give me one. Somewhere, someone always made way for me to have time to think about things such as this. Today was no different as I sat in a line of vehicles making their way on set. There was some sort of security post or checkpoint. It wasn't a long line, just unexpected and annoying, but long enough to give my brain time to wander off onto the subject I was making an effort to avoid. I supposed they were making sure you belonged here. It was, after all, an historic place and being used for exteriors for the film. They had to keep out the riff-raff and ask otherwise would be tourists to come another time. Although I knew they had made said use public as to inform such persons. Finally.

"Morning miss."

"Hello."

"Miss, would you be so kind as to cut your engine?"

"Excuse me? Turn off my car? Why?"

"Just a precaution ma'me."

"I'm here for....."

"Movie set, we're not to allow just anyone in. You understand. Could I see your credentials please? Have you any?"

"I do, I'm in the thing."

"American eh?"

"Well, yes."

"So, you said you have credentials? Can we have a look then?"

"They're. They're in my attaché. Which, I'm afraid, is in the trunk."

"I see. And that would be why? Seems to me you would have them available if this is the case."

"I was down to Eastbourne, returning to London, they asked me to come here today instead."

"Let's have the keys."

"You know, I'm the writer for this."

"Now there's a new one."

"I am. I'll show you, hold on a second."

He reached in and grabbed my hands.

"I wouldn't be moving about too much in there, Miss. Do keep your hands where I can see them."

Okay. I was about to have enough of this guy. This was getting almost ridiculous. From what I had witnessed no other car had been shut off or detained. This very same guard, or whatever he was, had only leaned in and waved the others on. And oddly there were no other vehicles behind me. I picked my mobile up off the seat and started scanning to find either Tim's or Eric's number. I didn't have Simon's and Ken wasn't around today. The Dick Tracy wannabe reached in and pilfered my phone.

"What the hell are you doing? That's my mobile."

"Sorry, rules. Now, please hand me your keys and step out of the car."

"What? You really have no idea who I am do you? In cases such as these I believe it may be a wise decision on your part to contact someone in charge of this circus."

He totally ignored me, walked to the back of my car and opened the trunk; whereupon he methodically removed all my luggage. He didn't open anything, he just put everything on the ground then walked back to me. Was I mad yet?

"Mrs. DeMore. Here's your keys and your mobile. They're expecting you anytime. Just follow this road about half a kilometer and take the left bend, you'll see wardrobe there. Someone will meet you. Have a great day."

He turned and disappeared behind the gate, never looked back at me and I just stood there fuming. I had a sneaking suspicion someone I knew was behind this, but I didn't have confirmation to it. I threw my stuff back in the trunk, slammed it shut and followed the directions I was given to reach my destination. And there he stood.
"Trouble getting here?"

"That's according to which here you refer."

I don't know how he did it. I just knew he had set this up, set me up.

"I don't even want to know how you pulled that off. Don't bother telling me why either. I can fathom a guess. It wasn't funny."

"Oh, but it was. You did an admirable job of keeping your temper."

"Just barely. Enjoy yourself did you?"

"Immensely."

"Good, glad I could make your day. Now if you don't mind I have a job to do that I'd rather not. I don't want to be around you. I had thought I'd made that clear even this morning. And don't you have to do the same? Find a make-up trailer or something?"

"You're apathy hasn't escaped me."

"No I hadn't thought it would."

I shut my car door and moved towards the wardrobe building. Something I wasn't looking forward to. Corsets, ugh. He stepped in front of me before I could reach the door.

"There is a small matter I would appreciate you taking the time for a discussion on."

"And that would be?"

"A certain narrative you seem more than anxious to finish."

"Another time, perhaps. It's ten, they're expecting me. I'll see you on set later."

Times like these make you appreciate that you weren't alive in this time period. If I had to dress like this everyday I wouldn't bother getting out of bed. Especially in the summer months. I had barely stepped out of make-up with this garb on and began sweating. And the shoot? Oh, both outside. I have to admit that what I was in first was easier to bear than what they had planned for later. I had written Katie Cavender to be respectable but with a hidden wild side. Sometimes when she rode she dressed down. Fortunately this was one of those times. But ride I had to do. A horse in this get-up. Fortunately no close ups but I still had to acclimate to it all. I had only ever worn jeans to ride a horse, so this was a bit of a challenge. The other challenges? Keeping my cool in more ways than one in the presence of those with whom I was acquainted. I knew that Tim and Eric were here though they would have little say in the days proceedings. Then there was Colin; whom I was positive would find a lot to say in reference to my manifestation into a late eighteen hundreds gentlewoman. I was already loathing the thought. Having been led to a sloping field on the grounds a young, familiar male figure approached, English saddled horse in tow. It was my security guard.

"I see you have more than one job on set."

"I'm sorry about earlier Miss."

"Don't be. You did quite well you know and I got over it quickly enough."

"It came across as an amusing thing to do at the time."

"Yes well, Mr. Firth has quite the sense of humor does he not? Talked you into it did he?"

"It took some convincing. I only agreed after he assured me you were old friends and did these type things to one another at times."

"Hmmm. I'm sure he was extremely convincing. But, rest assured the operative word here is were; past tense."

"I hope I'd nothing to do...."

"No, not to worry, it's an old argument. Now I believe I'll need help getting on because of this get-up I'm in. Care to help? By the way, you have a name?"

"Mark."

"Mark? Interesting. Well then Mark of many talents, shall we?"

He assisted my ascending the animal, grabbed the reigns and walked me over towards the actual 'set.'

"You're the writer, right?"

"I'm a writer, yes."

"No, I meant, you wrote this. This movie. You wrote that other one too. What was that one?"

"It's probably best that you don't recall the name."

"He was in that one as well, was he not?"

"You're awfully nosy and, I might add, being a bit forward with all this. To what does this line of inquiry tend?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean. I was just making conversation."

"No need. My best answers would be yes and Once And Again and yes. So there you have it. No harm done."

Young Mark soon disappeared as I was receiving directions on where and how and why I was riding at all. I already knew but I followed the directions. I assured all that I had no need of a stunt person standing by or 'standing in.' That's who I was anyway, wasn't I? And then, there he was....again. Not that I noticed how fine he looked in the period costuming or anything. All I could think was why he was here at all. He didn't need to be. He wasn't in this long shot riding sequence. That's all it was. Camera trickery, editing to convince the movie-goer that it was one and the same person.

"Not your color."

"Not my lifetime."

"Are you so sure? I seem to recall you once having thought differently."

"Yes, well, irrational people can think all sorts of things can't they? Now if you don't mind I have to get on with this."

To most of the crew our discourse was of little or no consequence. They had no clue to the hidden meanings in our repartee. In fact I doubted anyone caught it. Though I was more than aware, even if the exact phraseology hadn't been received, the delivery of such was not beyond scrutiny by a few, or at least two persons standing about in close proximity to the exchange. I wasn't about to make any more of a scene, as minute as it was, here or now. I kicked my steed into action and headed for the trainer waiting at the top of the small slope I was to ascend then begin to descend on the other side. That's all I had to do. This should be easy right? I was of a mind nothing would be after my last endeavor into the world of make-believe. I had no illusions about the processes anymore. I got it right the first time, but they wanted angles, all sorts of angles. They had to be sure they could piece it together. After six angles my horse decided it was too hot or some such thing and became completely uncooperative. So we waited and I got hotter and hotter as the day did. I couldn't drink enough water. Make-up had to keep putting me 'back together.' Which made me have to dismount and remount the animal too many times. I knew too that even if you did know how to ride but you hadn't for a long time and you did stupid stuff you were going to be sore the next day. I could see it coming, full force, my way. And I had drawn an audience too. That was wonderful to see. It was the Cavender Clan. Colin, Tom and Jared. Yep they were all here to watch stand in Kate make an ass of herself, though I was glad I didn't. Yeah, standing in shade, with fans, kicking back, apparently discussing the merits of my riding style. I actually don't know that they were, but every time I looked over they were looking in my direction. I was so glad when they got all they wanted and I could head back to wardrobe and air conditioning. Now I had to get into an even worse set of clothes and a more difficult circumstance. I had to be with Colin.