The Mission

20 February

I didn't sleep and I was feeling it. I would start to drift off only to bolt upright after something disturbing had forced my mind and soul into unadulterated panic. I don't remember any one of the apparitions that had caused the startled and frightened reactions. I just knew they were there and there were plenty. This all just started so I had to wonder if it was related to the feelings I was, obviously, hiding since we'd gotten here. Some of them I knew and understood and I was making a very concerted effort to not let them out to spoil everyone else's states of happiness and exuberance over the goings on.

I was forcing moods because I wasn't as ecstatic as everyone else and because some emotions, whose sources eluded me, were working their way out. Not knowing the cause for some of these I couldn't effectively ward them off nor control them. Looking at those dress catalogs had started my spiral into an unwanted emotional abyss. Carlene choosing Rosewood Hall heightened it more. It went completely, or fairly close, to the edge when we'd gotten back to her house yesterday afternoon.

The whole three miles back I couldn't get my mind off of Rosewood. Though no one else likely had thought on it, I did. It started right after she'd decided to rent and I asserted she would have no problems with it, financially. We'd discussed not using The Pavilion Morley Hayes because it was too far. From where? Rosewood would be almost as far, wouldn't it? Carlene was from Leeds. It was where she was born and raised, ergo so was her church. Now I'm no geographic genius but I could surmise both of these places were a pretty fair haul. Why hadn't she looked around to find something more accommodating near there? It was going to take everyone hours to get to Rosewood from Leeds. It may only be around seventy miles to Bakewell but it would also be a Saturday night. I held onto it until we had made our way inside and settled around the dining room table.

Carlene wanted us to do more. To be even more involved than just opinions about a reception hall. She opened the china cabinet drawer and pulled out four or five folders full of all kinds of stuff and laid them in front of us on the table. Then she proceeded to go through them one by one. Sarah's Charles was a freelance photographer. Pictures taken care of. The cake was being done by the "Bakewell Pudding Parlour." Yes it really was a bakery and this had me more flummoxed. The florist was all already set, excepting our newly decided upon hair decors. I know I missed a few things while I was trying to figure how to broach my burning question, until I heard the mention of music. Though I did stay daydreaming some as all I could picture now were violas and harpsichords and trombettas with a vision of the Netherfield Ball creeping into my head. That bubble thankfully burst when she threw three brochures down with a kind of perplexed look on her face. One was for "The Wedding Bells," a local group that did receptions and other similar events. The other two were groups called "Burning July" and "The Fahrenheits." I kid you not.

"I can't decide."

That's all she had to say. She handed us demo tapes for each and wanted our opinions. She also had no idea what songs to use for the bridal party entrance, her father/daughter dance, the mother/son dance and could we help her? We had no clues to what she really liked but agreed to try and come up with something.

It was more than an hour before I could broach the subject of the hall and its great distance from whatever church. When Carlene corrected my ignorant errant assumption I fell into a chair and an inexplicable tailspin.

Her response, that I was hearing bits and pieces of in veiled reverberation, tended towards playful. It was as if she thought I was joking around and she was playing along because, after all, I knew she'd spent the past decade - or more - of her gran's life here for weekends and, therefore, she went to church with them. That she had taken her First Communion here and surely I was aware she belonged to Holy Trinity. So of course the wedding was here, just across the street from Riverside House and around the corner from Graham's current digs. It was perfectly logical and obvious, wasn't it? Not to me it hadn't been; though I pretended I had only had a senior moment. In reality, I had not honestly considered the wedding being here.

I'd made a hurried excuse of having a special night with Colin planned and had practically dragged Hilly, kicking and screaming, out the door. I was quiet the short ride back. I knew Hilly probably wanted answers that I was unable to give.

The rest of the night was as I stated. But now, after Colin had pumped half the tea in Derbyshire into me, I was committed to doing something, even if by force of will, for this wedding. The caffeine hadn't really helped but after a shower and accomplishing a short nap, I was able to think on about three cylinders. It was better than none. I called Jess to see what was up with the 'couple' and established they would be out of pocket after five. I set a meeting in the company office for six-ish. I only wanted the youngsters to do the deed I worked up but had asked Hilly and Clara to make a showing too. I needed all the help and input I could garner. Hilly, especially, after I'd shut her out so badly yesterday.

This was not going to be some grand repartee on my part. I figured it would take me all of five minutes to assign the task to Jess and company. I had no need for anything except my big mouth and I was positive I had that.

"Jess, where's everybody else?"

"They're coming. So, what's up? We have some actual work come through that needs attention?"

"No, no, nothing so mundane as that. I need the gals here. Where are they?"

"Well, I count right?"

"Hey, Hill, glad you dropped in."

"So, what's up?"

"I have a scheme cooked up. Waiting on Ginny and Kathy. You see them?"

"They're right behind me. Clara seems to be talking their ears off about something. So how are you doing?"

"Dang."

I went to the door and looked out, waving my hand frantically in the air.

"Come on, we've not got all night you three."

I turned back and headed over to the spare desk we had in here. I didn't want to disturb whatever Graham might be working on at his desk. I jumped up and sat on the top. I waited while Jess closed the door behind the ladies and wasted no time.

"So, any of you know what their song is?"

I looked right at Kathy, who looked at Jess, who looked at Hilly and they all went wide-eyed and mouth gaping.

"Well?"

"Di, whose, what song?"

"You know Hill. Carlene and Graham. What's their song?"

"Is this leading somewhere?"

"Of course it is. You were there, right Kathy? She doesn't have a group yet, let alone the line-up for the minor festivities of the reception."

I got down and walked over to Jess.

"Nobody knows. You have to find out."

"I could ask him tomorrow. We have a few things to coordinate for Eastbourne."

"God no.. you don't just blurt out the question, Jess."

"No?"

"No way."

"I could ask Miss Diane. Neither of them would suspect me."

"Thanks Ginny, but I think that would be even more obvious."

"Diane!"

"Hill?"

"Do you really think they are going to suspect anything? I think they're both too far off on cloud nine to think of anything rational, let alone this."

"I do, but not to worry, I've a plan."

"Have you?"

"Naturally."

I walked over and looked out the window. First left, then right, then back at Hilly.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Checking."

"On what?"

"Making sure they're not lurking about."

"Diane, I seriously doubt they'd hear anything through these stone walls."

"You never know. So, where was I? Oh, right, plan. Jess, you and Ginny and Kathy and... where's Charles?"

"He had to go home. I'm going to fetch him back on Wednesday."

"So I guess you go solo... anyway..."

"Diane, what?"

"Hang on Jess. If I wasn't constantly interrupted. Now, where was I? Oh right. You three take the two of them to Bullshead or Ashford Arms. Doesn't matter which. So, there you are listening to the music. Do they have music at either of those places? Gee, hope so, otherwise this won't go."

"And?"

"Let me finish, would you? So there's music going and one of you says this music sucks or some such statement. Then you can, I don't know, sort of ease into talking about music, stuff you like, don't like, fav songs, and when the opportunity arises, take it."

"Opportunity for what?"

"Jess, are you thick? To ask what their song is."

"How do we do this exactly?"

"Think! Let's see. I don't know, maybe mention to Ginny here. Sorry to use you Ginny..."

"It's okay."

"Mention that maybe you like Ronan as a person but his music is too mushy for you. Like, let slip you know the guy."

"So does Graham, nothing new there."

"So tell Ginny.. she doesn't know."

"Yes I do Diane. Oh gee, I saw his pictures in Hilary's office once and asked Maggie who he was. She told me all sorts of things and gave me copies of his music and that movie... what was that?"

"From Whence They Came?"

"That's it."

"When were you in... never mind. Damn!"

"Oh, hey. I can fake not knowing pretty good, I think."

"Would you?"

"Sure, piece of cake."

"Great."

Jess was looking between the two of us carrying on our own little plot that included him, but was excluding him at the moment.
"Diane, how does this get their song out?"

"Come on Kathy, you guys will figure it out as you go. Come full circle or take squiggly lines. I don't care, just get it out of them."

"What if there isn't one?"

"Thanks for that Jess."

"It's possible."

"Jess, every couple has a song. Even if the guy is clueless about it, there is one. Believe me, Carlene has one picked out. Now, that's your mission and you have until the twenty-sixth to get the info to me. So scoot."

I shushed them out the door, even Clara but, excepting Hilly.

"Are you alright Di? You've been awfully hot and cold about all this. What is up with you?"

"I don't know Hill. I'm trying to sort through some things. If I figure it out I'll let you know."

"You sure? You want to talk?"

"No, Colin is waiting on me. I best scoot."

When I got back I walked in and grabbed Colin. He'd hugged me back until I loosed the embrace and left him to grab my sweatshirt. The bone chilling weather of a few days ago had given way to an unseasonable warm spell but it was still cold. I excused myself to walk, to think. I went to an all too familiar spot and stood at the top of that hill, with my hand on Johannah's stone, as the sun set and I began to see my own breath. When the last vestiges of viable light were giving way to darkness and the Trinity bells tolled at seven, I turned my eyes towards the church tower and it all fell into place.