Taking The Edge Off

9 April

I didn't look back as I reached the porch, grabbed Colin and held on tight. He took my chin and peered right into my eyes. His were somewhat sedate, mine were relieved.

"It's not going very well is it?"

"That's according to what you refer. And it's no, no matter what you put out there."

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing, not now anyway. I think you made your position clear pretty much all day."

I let go and walked into the cottage. I was hot and tired and now emotionally drained.

"Sorry?"

He had followed me in and let the door slam shut behind us. I flopped into a chair and took off my socks and shoes. Then I just looked at him and shook my head. How could he not know?

"What I'm saying is, you didn't say anything. You didn't defend me or my position. Then again you didn't seem to have a position anyway. You left me out there, to the wolves."

"What would you have had me say?"

"I don't know Colin? Didn't you have some thoughts on any of it?"

He walked towards the kitchen, but I wasn't about to let him leave it there.

"You're producing this thing. I think you could have thrown a syllable or two into the fray."

He reached into the fridge and pulled out a couple cokes. One of which I'm sure was intended for me. What I needed was water. He was just avoiding the issues. Then he sat down on a stool on the opposite side of the kitchen bar.

"It's not precisely what you may think."

"Meaning?"

"I've come to realize I've more or less been made an honorary producer. I've not been in on many of the decisions."

"But you put money into this, didn't you?"

"A bit."

"A bit my ass. I know how much you put into this Colin, you forget. You've at least paid for me and Nick and then some."

"That may be, but you see, I'm the new chap here and I imagine they got their fill, or I've reached my quota of input this time round."

"What input? You've had bare bones say since we've been here. You didn't pick the........did you? Tell me you picked the book for the screenplay?"

"No, that wasn't mine."

"Hmm...so this wasn't by design on your part. You were outranked on casting. I don't see it Colin. Did they take your money and run with it? Have you had the chance to produce at all?"

I was beginning to feel like I was hitting a very sore spot, but I couldn't let it go, could I? How could this be happening to him? He'd helped bring that company a lot of money and when he was trying to explore new interests, they say, "Ok, fork over the cash and you can come along for the ride?"  No, this wasn't setting well. I was formulating a new approach to questioning, but he got ahead of me, knew I wasn't letting this go. He put his soda can down on the counter and walked slowly over to and out the door. I could see him from here as he went down the porch steps and disappeared beyond the well. He was heading for the small beach area down below the stone staircase. I ran out behind him. When I got to the top of the stairs I saw him squatted down at the water's edge tossing stones out towards the waves.

"Colin!!"

He turned, shaded his eyes, looked up at me and returned to his skimming. I started down, two at a time until I got three from the bottom and the beach. That's when he stood up, turned around and stretched his arms out to either side.

"This is what I got. This is what I produced. Otherwise I'm just along for the ride."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He took a few steps towards me and stopped again.

"I got you your paradise. Your location, don't you see?"

I turned my head slightly sideways and looked at him from that angle. I was confused.

"No, of course you've no idea what I'm going on about, have you?"

I sat down, somehow I wasn't sure I wanted to hear this.

"I compromised Diane. That doesn't explain it very well does it? Perhaps I need to back up. You missed the preliminary locations meeting. Not that you were to be there at all. If you must know they wanted to do this on a sound stage, save the money. I told them no, it had to be here. The argument was there wasn't the budget. I made it so that there was."

"What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is that I wanted your story to be done the way it was meant to be and if that entailed my ensuring the money was there to do so, then that's what I was going to do...and ultimately, I did."

"You paid for this? For us to be here? All of it?"

He turned back towards the water.

"Colin?"

I got up and stood behind him.

"Colin? What's the compromise? Tell me."

I walked around in front of him getting my feet into the water and lifted his head up. I glared straight into his eyes, as best I could.

"You tell me. And now."

"I'm to stay out of it."

"No, the whole thing."

He took my hand and led us over to the bottom step and sat down. I made myself as comfortable, as one could on stone, next to him. He put his elbows on his knees and folded his fists inside one another, but he didn't look at me at all. He just stared out towards the waters and the horizon.

"They've a budget. It's quite microscopic when compared to a feature. I was aware of this. But you see, it was your story, your movie. There were some aspects I guarded and argued for...and against. I couldn't have them do what they intended. Do you understand? This spot is where you envisioned the journey to end, not some pre-fabricated hotel room on a back lot in Ealing. I insisted. The argument was there was no room allowed in the monetary constraints of the production. I asked what it would take and even though they estimated a figure and I assumed responsibility for that sum, it came down to their not wanting to do it. It was a very big mess. I insisted to the point of exacerbating their good nature."

He shifted his weight and got up again. From what he had just disclosed and what might be coming, I could understand why he couldn't stay in one place. He turned and faced me then squatted down once more and took my hand.

"I can't help you at all on set. I threw my import at them and more money to bring us all here. It was my production, you see. This all was. They were less than pleased, but acquiesced when I agreed to leave the rest of the production to them. No interference whatever. I'm here as a figurehead, in name only."

"But you're on set."

"Allowable; as long as I keep my mouth shut."

I squeezed his hand.

"What do you mean this was your production? You said you didn't chose the book. You've lost me."

"I had hoped to not have to disclose this; though perhaps I should have months ago. They weren't so sure about you're involvement a third time, but there was the contract. I had wanted to try my hand at producing. We had a meeting where I assured them I would back such a film, whatever one they chose for you to work. They still were not convinced, so I got Nick as added insurance. Though I felt it an affront to you and totally inappropriate considering your awards. What it comes down to Diane is; I put my money and your reputation out there. What I agreed to was I wouldn't have any form of creative control other than that these particular scenes were to be shot here; on this island."

I couldn't believe what he had just told me. I was almost ready to lose it.

"How much Colin? How much is all of this costing you?"

"That's one part of this I'll not make you privy to."

I put my head down and wrapped my arms around my waist. I wanted to run down the shoreline and scream now. I was almost in shock by what he had just divulged and I knew I was going to have a battle on my hands the rest of the time here, no more so than tomorrow and now I knew I had no ally at all on set. I lifted my head back up and realized he had left me and headed down the beach himself. There was no question that he needed to be alone. I picked myself up and went back to the cottage.....and waited.

I tried to concentrate on getting something together for us to eat. I knew we had both better make an attempt to do so, but I kept walking back out to the porch looking both ways down the beach to keep an eye on him. I was trying to stay where he didn't see me doing so. I don't know if I was successful in that attempt, but he never mentioned it. Once I spied him I'd wander back inside and revisited the kitchen. As the sun went behind the cottage it felt as if it had gotten hotter rather than cooler, even if a breeze had come up. It wasn't even a pleasant one, it was hot too. This would have been a great time for us to have taken a swim, but that wasn't about to happen and I knew it. It didn't mean I couldn't put on my suit. I checked again, then went and changed into my swimwear, grabbed the corrected script, went back to the porch and got as comfortable as I could in the hammock; making sure I was on the end that afforded me a view towards the beach. I got engrossed in a part that I knew I would have to fight for tomorrow and hadn't been paying attention until I felt water dropping on my stomach.

"I see you're back. How you doing?"

"Oh I don't know. I suppose I'll manage."

"Hungry?"

"Not particularly, why? You have something prepared?"

"Sort of."

"Working the scene?"

"Yeah, trying to figure it out."

"Did you want some help?"

"I can always use more expertise than I have. They may not want your input, but I'll welcome it any time."

"You do wonderfully on your own. You do have a talent, though I'm of the opinion you have yet to accept it."

I sat up and hung my feet over the edge of the hammock and took his hand.

"Colin, my turn now, okay? I listened to you, now hear me out."

"As regards?"

"This whole screwing you over business."

"They didn't totally."

"Oh yes they have. Listen, this is my book, this is my screenplay and technically, it's my movie. I didn't sell them the rights to this Colin. I have creative control. I hadn't found it necessary to do anything about it...yet. You say you brought Nick in, but I think you got him involved just to jump start me. Well it worked. I want your input. I'll ask first and if that doesn't work, I'll demand it."

"You'll lose out sunshine. They have the company."

"Fuck the company, I can kill the shoot. I own this damn thing."

"Would you take it that far?"

"You're damn right I would. Colin, they took you for a ride, fucked you over and pushed you out of the car."

I jumped down from the hammock and headed for the door.

"You don't work for them, not really. You have a contract Colin?"

"I wouldn't have done any of this without one, you have to know this."

"Good. Get yourself a copy of it here if you don't have it with. Go back and read it; memorize it if need be. Don't ask, just do it for me, ok?"

"You appear to have come round on this. Nice suit, by the way. Covers a bit more than I'd like."

"It's a bikini - oh stop. I can't very well be out here in the nuddy you know. Now are you coming in to get something to eat or not?"

He came over behind me and held the door from above my head, but didn't make an attempt to go inside.

"Perhaps out here on the patio?"
"You have to help get everything from the kitchen."

As we got inside he went towards the bedroom while I found a tray and started to get things together. Some of it I had to slap onto plates, but he would have to grab those and the wine.

"Colin? I have some of it. What the hell are you doing? Grab the plates off the counter in there, I'm going back out."

I dusted off the table and sat the tray down. He was taking an awfully long time. All I could fathom was he'd gone to the loo to wash up, so I sat and waited. Not ages or anything, but due to all things that had transpired today and knowing there was another challenging adventure to look forward to tomorrow, and the hour, I was being more than impatient.

"Colin!"

He came out sans the plates and sans his kit. Okay, there wasn't going to be any dinner, I could see that coming.

"Had I known I was going to have plums and a carrot I wouldn't have gone to all this bother."

"Now, shall we make scarce those bits of cloth you have covering more than they should?"

"Out here?"

"I believe we're quite isolated."

"I believe you're correct sir. You do realize it's after six and we have another early day tomorrow. I can't not get sleep like last night. Once Colin, can we accomplish this?"

"Dictating libidos now are we?"

"I don't know that I'm dictating, rather attempting to be practicable."

"Don't"

"So, no counting thrusts or anything of that sort?"

"Pardon?"

"Oh nothing, just something I read once."

He shrugged it off and walked over closer to me.

"I. I would appreciate...."

"What?"

"I uh. Hmmm. I appear to not be able to come up to standard."

"Come on now. It's been a long day after a long night. Your likely physically and emotionally drained. Having sex every time we're near one another isn't absolutely necessary. You know this. Just being with you....."

"No. I was. Had only wondered if it would be a bother asking for a little assistance."

"Good lord no, get over here."

I took his hand and walked us over to the hammock.

"Lie down."

I waited as he fought the swinging bed and finally sprawled out with it settled back to immobile. I couldn't help giggling as he did so.

"You find this amusing?"

"Some, but I'll get over it."

While he was getting situated I had been thinking on how this was going to 'go down,' so to speak. I had decided and followed through with straddling his thighs with my legs hanging off either side to give me some leverage and add stability to the mischief. When I had made sufficient progress in getting his full attention I sidled up a little further, raised up and attacked said recipient of my previous endeavors. I wish I could say my legs were anywhere near as strong as his, but they weren't. It became obvious to the both of us we would have to reverse our current positions. As I got up my leg tangled in one of the spaces of the hammock and flipped the thing sideways. Colin went crashing to the porch. Okay, so it wasn't funny, but I couldn't help losing control of the laugh mechanism in my body and brain.

"So it's funny is it?"

I was holding my mouth to try and contain the giggling.

"Oh yes, I think so."

Fortunately I anticipated his next move when I saw his eyes light up and took off down the stairway. What I could handle running naked was less than he could in the pursuit. He took them two at a time and caught me at the bottom, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me to the sand. We rolled twice and found ourselves, he on top, in the water. Nothing was going to stop us now.

As anticipated, it was hard and fast and we dragged ourselves out of the wet soon after and sat against a slight incline of built up sand until our legs were recovered enough to support our going back to the palapa. By the time we had showered, and finally grabbed a quick bite of the grilled chicken I'd made earlier, it was time to head for bed. I more than needed to get some good sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a pure test of wills.