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Taming The Green Eye 3 April
"Perhaps I should just leave then." "You can't leave; you're working on this damn movie. But I can. Shall I?" "I could give a fuck if you do." "Fine, whatever." I sat up covered in a cold sweat and looked around. I was alone, in a bed, in a penthouse, in Mexico. No, Colin wasn't here. I was dreaming. But for some reason the last part of the dream or nightmare, which is all I was remembering right now, rang too true to be comfortable in my head. I threw the covers off, wiped the sleep out of my eyes and looked at the clock - three-fifteen. I'd only thrown on a camisole and matching bottom, but they were soaked through now, partially from the temperature outside, partly due to the fantasy. I threw on the light, walked over to my dresser and found a fresh set of bedclothes then headed for the kitchen and a cup of hot tea. I was thinking of ways to relax my brain back into slumber. I grabbed the mug and headed for the patio when he knocked on my door. Christ it was morning, well almost. "What are you doing here at this hour?" "I can't stand out here. May I come in?" "How did you know? Oh never mind." "That you'd most likely be awake? I didn't. Had a nightmare, I suppose you'd call it. It woke me up. It made me more than aware I needed to talk to you. I took a chance." "I'm not in a particularly talkative frame of mind right now." "And why are you up? I had thought you were done in." "I just woke up and needed something to drink, I was about to go back, if you don't mind." I started back towards the kitchen and my tea. He followed me, took my arm and turned me around. "I...did too." "You did what too?" "I woke up. I think I had a ...well, anyway. I've got to go back to bed, as do you." "So why don't you go back down to your flat? We have to be up in a few hours and be on set." "I'm aware of this." He pulled me in to him which is when I assume he figured out I was soaked, more or less, head to foot. I hadn't had the opportunity to change as yet and had set my clean and dry outfit on the counter as I'd made my tea. "You're drenched." "Probably the heat. Look, I woke up and was about to change and go back to bed after my tea. I am tired and I need to do so. I'll never be anywhere near close to functioning on a decent level if I don't. If you have the urgent desire to say something, please do so, then go and let me rest." "No." "No?" "I'm staying what's left of the night." "You can't." "I can and I will. Unless, of course, you'd really rather prefer I didn't. I see it this way. No one near me knows my exact schedule. Those that do, well, they're on ground floor. I can come and go from my flat at any time, day or night without question. They've no idea when I should be leaving or returning, if I'm in there or not. You understand?" And I did. I couldn't argue his logic, but I tried. "What about impromptu meetings. I mean... what if they call you?" "I've my mobile." "Colin, they could call your room direct and you'd not be there to answer. What would you say then? You can't be gone for hours on this island. It's not that big." I moved away from him, trying to take in what he was saying as I continued to make an attempt to clear the cobwebs from my brain. I hadn't wanted to be doing that. I actually just wanted to go back to bed. "Look, I need a quick shower and my bed. Can the rest of this wait? And don't say there isn't anything else. I know there is, but it will have to wait for later." I grabbed up my clothes and walked away from him without looking back. "See yourself out, goodnight Colin. Go get some sleep." I washed down quickly to get the sweat and stickiness off my body and out of my hair, wrapped in a towel and decided to forget about the pajamas this time. I knew I'd probably need clean linens on the bed, so I grabbed a fresh set out of the closet in the bathroom and, now relaxed again, shut the light and.... "Why are you still here? Better question. Why are you still here and in my bed? I don't want you here............" I heard myself and stopped. I knew what I was saying was something I'd heard myself say before and I wasn't about to let that happen. True, I wanted him to get a grip, but I didn't want him to leave. "Get up. Let's talk." I dropped the towel I'd had wrapped around my body and put on the clean camisole set, turned on the overhead light and sat on the bottom of the bed. "Now, get it out, get it out of your system." "What exactly am I extracting?" "Oh fuck Colin. If you had been any angrier tonight you would have exploded." "Did I come across as such?" "Oh yeah. Perhaps others didn't catch it, but I sure as hell did. Then you just had to drive me, didn't utter a word on the ride either. You think all of this got past me?" He got up, walked over to a window and stared out. "I had. I suppose so. I was, wasn't I?" "A bit." "Ridiculous actually, wasn't it?" "I think so." "It's....how do you know him? How long?" "What?" He turned his back and pleaded for a clear answer. "Who? Guy? I just met him, right before you did. Colin, get a grip." "You find him attractive, do you not?" "Well, sure. But he's just another face in the acting crowd." I should have been mad, but I wasn't in the least. "Look at me. I'm not about wandering around finding something new and different. I can't fathom why you might feel threatened. I suppose it's new to you where I've had to live with it all this time." "How so?" "Christ, you're an actor, you work with actresses. Does this give you an idea? I sit on those filming sets and watch you all the time. Don't you think I get pangs or mild kicks in the stomach on occasion? I've learned to deal and I've learned to live with it. Hell, I don't even know if I have the right to feel the things I do for you, or the petty jealousy that comes now and again, but I do have those sentiments and reactions. So I can understand what you were feeling. Just let it go." "I never said I was jealous, at any time, in any form." "Fine, whatever. Call it what you will. Now if you don't mind, I need to go back to bed." "Perhaps wary would fit better." "Or callow?" "That's a bit of a blow. I don't see it as such. I've never been in my life, why would I begin at this stage? I've never been so, felt this way, precisely, towards anyone that you've been around. I can't decide why." "Does it matter? Colin, it's truly flattering, but you seriously need to cope better." "How so? How does one?" "Practice. Faith. Trust. And an occasional phone call or, better, a hug would help. Fall back on why we are." "I perceive the shoot will be difficult for me then, from this perspective. You'll be having to work closely with him. Good test I'd say. How do you think I'll fair?" "I'll defer judgment." "Am I to assume that I'm now permitted to stay the night?" "You mean what's left of it? I have less than an hour before I have to get up. You too." "No, I saw how tired you were. I talked to Tim and Eric at the restaurant and changed the time we would all be on set. It's pre-shoot blocking and last minute changes; we're actually not needed that early. We're to meet on set in the area of ten. And before you ask, we were, neither of us, talking to the other, so I hadn't said before." "Flawlessly logical." I closed the overhead light; we got in bed, he pulled me in and put his arm around me. "Could you re-set the alarm?" He let go and did so, then re-settled himself next to me. Kissed me goodnight and shut out the lamp on the night stand "Thank you for coming here, for not letting this stew and get out of hand." He brushed back my hair and kissed my neck one last time. "No, we'll not go to sleep angry at one another, ever again." |
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