Monastic Mayhem

4 October

I locked that door so he couldn't try anything. I don't think I could have washed my hair any longer without going bald as I tried to calm myself from his unmitigated gall and all he'd said. Then he'd waltzed in the bedroom like nothing was out of kilter. All I could repeat in my head was "Vanity thy name is Colin Firth." Over and over and over. And how he could go from one extreme to the other in less than two minutes was driving me nuts. It was like we never had that conversation in the kitchen. Maybe he just needed to vent, but he didn't have to be such an arrogant ass about it. I even stayed in the bath until my hair was dry, then stayed wrapped in my towel to go back into the bedroom. As I did I stopped short when I saw him sitting at the table in here, dressed and ready to go.... somewhere, reading a paper. Jeans, a long sleeved shirt and newer trainers. He was shaved and wearing cologne and I was confused.

"Are we right then?"

"Are we right?"

I let him talk as I started to dress.

"It seems you were a bit peeved at me earlier."

"Oh, could you tell?"

"Apologies?"

"Colin, look, it's over, okay?"

I slammed a drawer shut and turned round.

"It's not worth holding on to. We don't have the time to waste being perturbed with one another."

"So... you're not angry?"

"I think that's what I said."

"Did you want to go somewhere then?"

"Sure, any suggestions?"

"Sailing?"

"Nada."

"There's Mont Saint Michel? You know it?"

"Sure I do. You learn about that place almost from day one in French classes."

"Ever been?"

I stood up, looking at the shorts that wouldn't be a good idea if that's where we were going to go.

"No. Wait. That's not just around the corner from here."

"No it's not. I took use of your laptop. It's about forty miles."

"Forty miles? Colin we have that party tonight."

"The soiree isn't until nine, if I recall. We've plenty of time."

"Do we?"

"Diane, it's eleven in the morning. That's ten full hours. I imagine we can get there an hour each way, leaves eight. Two hours to dress for the evening's event. I see we have six hours to explore the abbey and its surrounds. You do have a rental?"

"I do. And if I recall, we would have to be out of there before high tide. Did you check for when that happens this particular day?"

"I did."

"And?"

"Not an issue. We still would have nearly five hours."

"So, I guess that decides what I'll wear, no?"

I pulled a sleeveless shirt out of the drawer to wear with my jeans and trainers, ran a brush through my hair one last time, spritzed on some perfume and slipped my cell phone on to my waistband.

"Ready?"

"No."

"Why not? I thought you were all dressed. I'm dressed now."

"You can't wear that at your age."
"I can't? Why not?"

"It's just not.. I don't know, proper."

"I see. Well then, how about I get a big puffy flowered white and pink blouse, a pair of nylon stretch pants with elastic waist and penny loafers like my mom would have worn at my age? Would that work for you?"

"Ugh."

"What I thought. So, is this and my jeans okay then?"

"Perhaps too much so."

"Shut up. Let's go."

It was an easy drive that kept me occupied, but I couldn't shake the disquiet I had about the tides. I knew they had built a causeway that allowed everyone and anyone to get there and leave whenever they wanted without bother. It didn't mean it was always so. There were still rare occasions when the tide overcame even that height. It was a minor concern, but it was a concern. My minor fears were enhanced when we arrived and they were advising everyone to park on the shore as opposed to the lots on the causeway and to keep a vigilante watch on the time. Why? They were expecting a higher than normal tide tonight.

"It's not a problem Diane. We've still four full hours to explore what we will."

"You just make sure we get out of here in time to make a safe escape."

"Escape? Come on now. You're worrying needlessly."

"Probably, but ..."

"Nothing, come on."

Half way across the causeway I stopped and took in the sight that we were about to explore. It was more than breathtaking and I forgot all about water elevations. We walked a little faster until we were inside the walls and I started to pause at almost every little shop on every street.

"Did you actually want to purchase anything or are you just attempting to waste time?"

He'd come up behind me as I stared in a window at various sized replicas of the abbey and the rocky island upon which it was set. Without turning around I closed my eyes and grabbed one of his hands as he leaned in and nibbled on my neck a little.

"This was your idea. We could be back at my villa doing other things."

"Yes, I know, my mistake."

"Come on, let's find a place to sit and have lunch. You ate my breakfast as I recall."

"I'm not the least bit interested in food."

"I noticed. We're going to anyway."

"Did you not want to visit the abbey?"

"We still have time, no?"

"If we dine now, we'll lose valuable time to do so."

"We'll manage, it's only half one."

We traversed a little further until we happened upon the street that came across as both hotel & restaurant row. It wasn't like there were loads and loads of streets here, inside the walls of the once formidable monastery, but they were circular and lovely. We chose La Vieille Auberge hotel and restaurant and I had to stop Colin from taking a room after we ate. It wasn't why we were here. And honestly, I was certain if we'd done so we'd never get to that party later. I did manage to get him out of there and headed towards the abbey by two fifteen. At the base of the monastery I wasn't convinced I wanted to go any further. My knees had not been so cooperative the past few days and I could only imagine the pain I'd be in climbing those too many steps.

"Over here, it's more a path, a ramp. Perhaps that would be easier for you?"

"I didn't say I couldn't, I said my knees were having issues."

"So we'll do this and save the trouble."

"I didn't say it was any trouble."

"Ease up and let's go this way. Besides, then we can walk together."

And walk we did, slowly, with he setting his arm around me. We went inside the cathedral and back to the courtyard where we found ourselves over at one wall; looking out. You could look down on the village and out to sea. You could look in one direction and be staring at Saint Malo. As I did I lost Colin for a few moments to the other side. It didn't matter. I stayed there, with eyes closed, taking in the sun on my face and the sea breeze forcing my hair in several directions. That was until I felt hands on my ass and lips on my neck. The hands didn't stay there long, one found its way to the tie on the front, then inside my top. The other was going inside the back of my jeans, landing on my right buttock. I latched onto the hand inside my blouse, pressing it harder against my breast as he kneaded it in his hand. The lips found their way from my neck to my ear and was heading towards my cheek when a voice from nearby rang out:

"Mon Dieu, obetenir une pièce d'hôtel vous fait?"

(My God, get a hotel room would you?)

Without moving an inch I squeezed harder on Colin's hand.

"Would that we could comply with his request."

"I'm not up on my French but I did catch that he mentioned a hotel. Shall we?"

I pulled his hand out of my blouse, turned around and studied his face.

"There's not the time, Colin. It's after three now. We have to leave by four-thirty if we don't want to get stuck."

"It's just for an hour or so. Is that sufficient enough time?"

"Hmm, is it?"

"Any preference?"

"It's not like I perused the net, like you did, to find hotels on this island. It wasn't at the forefront of the agenda. You're agenda, by the way. So, you had this in mind, did you check?"

"I hadn't... it wasn't the... no. I've no idea."

"Bit of a dilemma, no?"

"There's the place we took lunch. It was also a hotel, if I recall."

"If you recall, my ass. You know damned well it was."

We got down from the abbey and to that hotel quite a lot faster than getting to the top. The hotel was situated on the outer wall, facing both part of the bay and the coast of Normandy proper. The room we took looked out on both. It was a gorgeous day, but inside was about to become more pleasant.

"Your top, all I have to do is unloose this tie and it falls off?"

"In a word... yes."

"This makes it all the easier."

"Not where the jeans are concerned. And what of you? You always...always have to dress out."

"Am I? Then allow me to make quick work of the problem."

And he did. He was out of his kit faster than I could take off my jeans. The room, for lack of better terms, was just a room. It had a bed, which is all we really wanted... and needed. It was only for an hour to ninety minutes... tops. I was sitting on the edge of said bed when he almost leapt through the air, wrapping me with one arm, and pulled us down onto the comforter.

"Good suggestion by that bloke."

"I think so."

One could assume we kept tabs on the time, but anyone thinking that would be wrong. It had been two months and natural stress was involved. I, personally, had thought this would be more of a quick shag due to the factors involved, I was wrong too. As he lay on top of me and stared into the depths of my soul with his piercing eyes, ran his hands slowly over various parts of my anatomy - starting at the top - he also tempered the pace. There was no need to hurry, no imminent deadlines, no pressure to stay within a timeframe. To finish, it was a slow, meticulously calculated eruption I liken to lava finding its way to the surface of a volcano. He fell off to my side, holding me around the waist as we drifted off. Something we both knew we shouldn't have done but did anyway. We had forgotten time constraints.

I woke up to the loudest, almost panic stricken yell I'd heard from Colin all the time we had know one another.

"Oh, Christ!!!! No!"

I shot up to a sit in the bed in about half a second.

"Are you okay?"

"In a word, no!  Look!"

I got out of bed, not caring I was in the buff and ran over to the window, following his pointing hand.

"Oh, fuck!"

"That's a mild understatement."

"What time is it?"

"Nearly six?"

I slumped down onto the floor with my hands pushing in on my eyes and temple.

"We're stuck!"

"More than obvious, Diane. So tell me, are you still as good a swimmer as in your younger years?"

"Are you off your nut?"

"A bit. Then again, have you any other ideas?"

"Call Hilly?"

"And have her do what? Row out to meet us?"

"We were duly warned you know."

"Yes, I'm aware. I can see the car lot from here. Of course, there's quite a bit of water between us and it."

Yes, more than quite a bit. We had had to park on the coast as opposed to the causeway lots because they had known it was going to be one of those higher tides that would cover the causeway. They had been right. All you could see, all the way round this tidal island was... water. We were cut off from civilization, adrift - ok not adrift - with no way out for about twelve hours and we had three to be at that party in Dinard.

"Call Hilly!!"

"Didn't you say they had plans for the day also?"

"Yes, yes, but they would have to be back at their villa by now, don't you think?"

"You sure?"

I was never more sure of anything. I found his mobile in his jeans pocket, walked back, opened it, slapped it into his palm and sat back on the bed.

"Dial!"

Hilly was on speed dial so it only took a few seconds for him to have the mobile ringing. It felt like hours before he started to talk.

"Yes, Jack? Colin here... listen, can I talk to Hilary? It's a bit of an emergency."

I watched as he slowly closed his mobile with a look of disbelief and possibly a tinge of fear mixed with angst. He didn't say a word but let our eyes meet as his mouth opened and closed without allowing one syllable to escape. I couldn't stand it as I walked back over to him and took his chin in both my hands and raised his head to meet mine.

"What Colin?"

He peered down at his lifeless mobile then back up at me.

"He hung up on me."