Epiphany

10 May

I felt confined. My body hurt some. My mouth was overwhelmingly dry, my tongue quite swollen from lack of fluids. I wanted to open my eyes and was unable. I could hear voices, though it was like they were in a distant tunnel, echoing and vibrating. And my head felt like I had been hit by a large plank of wood. I finally managed to coerce one eye open about one third of normal. It was immediately struck with unfocused bright light, whites, grays and foggy aura shrouded images that processed as either my being full drunk or I was dreaming or I was dead and they were angels coming to take me to my eternal home. I hoped against hope it was not the latter. I had too much to account for that would not go over well with him.

The next I did was coax my left eye to join my right, but the visions were not coming into focus any better than when I was like an injured pirate. Then I tried to get up. That, I soon processed, would not happen either. Even if I was regaining more than a feeling of numbness in my arms and legs all I felt in my temple was full out pain that I hadn't felt since.... well... never. I gritted my teeth, pushed my head back, into what I acknowledged was a pillow, and forced my eyes open fully. What I saw was a white ceiling with unfamiliar lighting.

"Am I dead?"

"Hilly!!!"

"What Colin?"

"Colin who?"

"Jack! Get in here!"

"Lilly?"

"Who?"

"Alexander?"
"What Hilly!?"

Colin had fallen asleep on Diane's stomach, from pure exhaustion I was sure. Even I had dozed in my chair as the nurses, doctors, Jack and Ken all milled about. Colin's voice snapped me into consciousness and I saw that Diane was awake. Not quite alert, but her eyes were open and I whispered a prayer of thanks. Jack had been pacing up and down the hall, scratching his head. He was trying to keep his anxiety to himself since he knew we all had enough of our own. My call brought him running into the room and he almost collided into Ken.
"Babe?!?"

All of us rushed to her beside and I took her hand in mine.
"Di? Sweetie? It's me, Hilly."

"No, no, Lilly, you're Lillian and Alexander? What are you doing here? Why am I here? My children."

I tried to shake my memories clear, I tried to sit up. I could do neither. These people surrounding me, I knew them, did I not? But they were all full of worried expressions. What was wrong with them? With me?
I looked between Colin and Jack. Diane was visibly agitated and confused. However, this was not surprising from all the drugs they had pumped into her.
"Di, the kids are fine. Jason and Adele are safe back home."
"Who?"
Colin took Diane's hand from me and placed it inside his own.
"Your children, Diane. Adele and Jason."
The handsome man with brown hair and eyes whom I knew was Alexander, but had been referred to by another name, put one hand on my back and another on my arm, for support, and helped me sit up. I did not even know where I was, let alone why I was here.
"There, is that better Diane? If it's not comfortable, we can try another position. Are you feeling better?"
"Why are you all doing this for me? Why are you trying to confuse me? Lillian? Alexander? Jacob?"
Whatever state I was in or whatever drugs had been keeping me under were wearing thin. I was able to now figure out where I was. I just couldn't remember why I was. I peered down and saw IV's in both arms, then squeezed Colin's hand, now returned in mine.
"What happened?"

Jack let out a low whistle and had his hand behind his head. He looked directly at Diane.
"Apparently you were in Oz, Dorothy."
"I was not. But I was in a place and time that was not imaginary and you....."

"Yea, Di, we know. You and you and you were there!"
I grabbed the pointing hand and silenced Jack with one of my famous looks then turned her head gently so our eyes met.
"Diane, you had an accident. You're in hospital. They had to give you drugs to help you get better. You were dreaming, sweetie. It was the drugs. It wasn't real, it was just a dream."
I was adamant she was wrong. It wasn't a dream. I had to get it across.
"Colin, help me sit up more."
He reached for another pillow, leaned me forward a little and placed it behind me. I sat back. I stared at each of them until I had their undivided, collective, attention.
"Hilly... no. No, I wasn't dreaming.... I was remembering."