14 April - Colin

"He better damn sight answer his phone this time!"

"Hello."

"Colin? Where the hell..."

"Diane?"

"Of course it's me. You can see that on your display."

"Yes, well. Not expecting."

"Why not? It's not the first time I've ever called you. And I've called a few times since February, as you have me. Are you where you can talk?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Well, you better damn well get there...and now."

"I could ring you back."

"No....now!"

"Give me a moment."

"Oh you'll get a moment and then some."

"Would you mind not to say anything while I move?"

"Sure."

"I'm not receiving very well, I'm stepping out for a bit."

"There, better?"

"Jeezus, you're at home?"

"Where did you expect me to be?"

"I don't know, hell I don't even know what time it is."

"It's April, I've no films going, reading mostly."

"You mean you're not out trying to save the world or hob knobbing with royalty?"

"Not funny."

"Sorry. I really don't feel that way. I'm just a bit put out and I'm sure you know why."
"I can manage a fair guess."

"I bet you can."

"You going then?"

"I'm not...you?"

"You're not going?"

"What's wrong with you? You know that's not me. None of this is. Why the hell would I ever consider? The other was bad enough. You think I ... Wait. Are you going? Tell me you're not going, because you haven't."

"Hmm."

"Colin? Don't. Don't you dare. Isn't this bad enough? MTV for God's sake? It was in theaters. I had people worldwide. Okay so not worldwide. But that. You stuck you're tongue down my throat. People know. I already saw it splattered all over boards and forums."

"I've more or less been ordered to do so."

"What do you mean ordered? By whom? Oh forget it, I can guess that."

"No....Kit."

"Oh? And he dictates your life now? Fine, whatever. I'm not going to it."

"Yes well. Seems I've been optioned out to make some appearances. You sure you don't want to go to this thing? I could use a friendly face."

"Or neck, arms, butt and other areas? No I don't think it would be a good idea."

"It's a damn awards show. And you have to know I want to see you."

"And you have to know we can't."

"Yes, well...so. How are you getting on then?  Are you writing? How's the book coming along? You haven't mentioned it lately."

"How's you're book?"

"That didn't answer my question. And I'm not writing anything. Why would you ask that?"

"You always write when you're idle and I was referring to the thing you started back in the fall."

"I told you I trashed that. It wasn't something for anyone to read or to be shared with the public at large. Writing isn't happening this go round. It usually relaxes me, but...look I've been reading mostly."

"Fine. Besides you've gone and got us off topic."

"Which was?"

"Oh cut it out. You know damn well."

"I'd thought we settled that."

"It's far from settled. You did this to me..us. All that time ago. How? What were thinking then Colin? Can you tell me? You never have and now look where it's gotten us. This had all quieted down to almost tolerable and...Christ."

"What do you mean thinking? It was a small film that I had no concept would even get off the blocks. It wasn't.....it was you. It just happened. I'd no idea it would go beyond a few showings in a minimal number of theaters. That it would die a slow death and be over with. Perhaps go straight to rentals."

"Why? Because it was my book, my story?"

"No....not at all. But it has happened and it wasn't a big budget was it?"

"No."

"Look, I'm sorry about the scene. I know I got a bit carried away."

"Just a tad."

"I don't see that there's anything that can be done about it all now."

"No...there isn't. One can only hope nobody has seen it and nobody votes for it because they haven't."

"You said it was in those forums."

"Oh damn. Right. And they vote for anything you're up for. Believe me I know."

"You're saying it really is in competition then?"

"Yeah...unfortunately. I'd bet my house on it."

"But you're not going?"

"No. I can't be any more clear than that."

"So I've got to fend for myself?"

"Looks that way. Why don't you take someone with you? Easier that way."

"Not a possibility."

"It isn't?"

"Already tried that route. Not interested."

"See. It's not just me then is it? So you really are having to go this alone."

"Apparently."

"I'm sorry Colin. I just can't do this. London was palatable at best. LA and MTV would be intolerably. It's not my scene, not my thing."

"That's what I tried to convey myself. Didn't work on my end."

"Just remember, not that it will help much, but I'll be there with you. I'll be watching. Smile at me for the cameras."

"Little consolation that. I dread the entire episode. I'm not up for it at all. The only thing that I'll look forward to is getting away after. I can set my eyes on that can't I?"

"Yeah..I guess."

"Diane?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry...I didn't."

"Hey, you know it's okay."

"Well, I suppose I had better be getting back."

"Right. Don't need. Colin? Per sempre e sempre."

"Si, per sempre e sempre."